Subject: vertex2001 Date: Thu, 02 May 2002 15:53:07 +0200 From: Danek Kotlinski To: belforte@fnal.gov Hello, The referee has found some problems with your vertex2001 paper. I list them below. If you disagree with some of the comments please let us know. Please submit the corrected version to our ftp server : ftp ftp.psi.ch user: cms pass: vertex2001 cd vertex2001 cd 'your name' Best regards, Danek --------------------------------------------------------------------- S.Belforte : Initial experience with the CDF SVT trigger ========================================================= The general comment is that the whole paper is written in a rather poor english. Especially the THE & A are a mess. The paper is full of slang frazes which can be used in a spoken language but are unacceptable in a scientific paper. The author should rewrite it and ask a "native" english speaking member of the collaboration to make the final corrections. Some corretions the author could do simple by runing a spell checker. Please do it next time! Below are my most serious comments. In CAPITAL letters I highlite the needed modifications. Abstract ------- 1) Sentence 1, should be "silicon vertex DETECTOR information". 2) Sentence 2, "tracks found BY the Level 1 central chamber fast trigger .." "transverse track parameterS with ..." 3) One before last sentence, brake this long sentence, the 2 parts are not connected. "... accepted by the trigger). Diagnosing rare ..." 4) Last sentence, "This paper coverS THE SVT architecture ..." 1. The CDF upgrade and the Silicon Vertex Tracker ------------------------------------------------- 1) Page 2, 2nd paragraph replace "... with resolution, from actual Run2 data, ..." with "... with a resolution of ..." replace "... which works inside the L2 trigger ..." with "..used in the L2 trigger .." "THE design goals for THE SVT ...on THE Run 1 data, ... The impact parameter is defined as the distance in the transverse plane. The last sentence in the paragraph should include that. 2) Page 2, 2nd paragraph Delete "in the trigger process." Delete "uniquely" In the "Bs->Dspi-> >hadrons" something is missing, either just "hadrons" or" >2 hadrons" . Last sentence, "... reduced to ~30Hz at L2 AFTER including impact parameter cuts,..." Use d instead of d1 and d2 which are undefined. 3) Page 2, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence " ... sectors of THE SVXII (wedges)." next sentence "Raw SVX data flowS from from the front-end to THE Hit Finder ... significan energy deposited and compute the coordinateS and centroidS." next sentence "... to THE Associative Memory and to THE Hit Buffer .." 4) Page 3, 1st paragraph 1st line "Each Hit Buffer BOARD storeS all hits and tracks FROM a wedge ..." 3rd line "sends them to THE Track Fitter ..." 5) Page 3, 2nd paragraph 1st sentence, you repeat the same thing by using different names : pipelines, connections, channels, etc., simplify it by deleting redundant words, e.g. "Data flowS throug the SVT pipelineS on point-to-point 23-bit LVDS data channels running .." 2nd sentence "made OF" not "made by" "..., WITH data being stored ..." " ... is senD to THE CDF L2 processors on the average 10us after THE L1 " -------------- decision dependin on THE event size." 2. Operational Challenges -------------------------- 1) Page 3, paragraph 1 1st sentence "THE SVT design ..., both THE digital electronic simulation of all boards and the simulation of the tracking algorithm using CDF data from Run1." delete "so ona could feel ..." it is OK to say such things but it does not fit to a scientific paper! 2nd sentence skip "real", "primary correct operation.." so the sentence will be " when opertaing the system with beam data e.g. a full system test and z-alignment. 2) Page 3, 2nd paragraph 3rd sentence "The hardware ..." does not say anything usefull, delete it. In the sentence "Most SVT diagnostics ... " delete "on all events". In the sentence "Special care ... QUICK REDUCTION OF system problems to single boards or linke. Each board ... and check DATA parity on the input cables." 3) Page 4, 1st paragraph 1st line "...in THE SVT in ..." 4) Page 4, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: "The z-alignment issue is RELATED to the fact that THE SVT only fitS.." 2nd sentence: delete at the end "in the selected sample." 3rd sentence "small" mpt "samll", "..to THE natural beam ..." 3. SVT performance on real data =============================== 1) The title should be "SVT performance with data" 2) Page 4, 1st paragraph 1st sentence "THE SVT ...." 2nd sentence "Initial focus has been ON THE system ....: debugging THE SVX and THE SVT ..." 3rd sentence "This activities ...to use THE SVT ... in the designED framework and measure THE trigger rates." Next sentence skip "anyhow", skip "real" "The SVT has .. of THE SVT could .." Next sentence "Good tracking ..." delete it or change it, it does not say anything usefull except that if the SVT does not work correctly than it does not work correctly. Start the next sentence with "The device performed ..." next sentence begin with "It has been operated ..." 3) Page 5, 2nd paragraph Replace "this" with "the" and "indicates" with "indicate" in "Vertical stripes in the left plot in THE figure INDICATE ... " In the sentence "This proved to work .." replace "for online" with "for the online" Next sentence " ... beyond THE SVT ...." Next sentence, delete "once" Next sentence, "Using THE offline ...." This is a VERY long sentence. Split in into two "... for the beam tilt. This study allowed ..." Same sentence " ... THE Run 1 data". 4. Learning from the SVT experience ==================================== 1) Page 6, 2nd paragraph 1st sentence One cannot start a sentence in english "About harward ..." replace maybe by "Concerning the hardware ..." The sentence "Early prototyping .. " is very hard to understand and follow. Please rewrite in a more clear way. 2) Page 7, 2nd paragraph There are many sentences here which do not say much. 1st sentence: skip "so to make" " ... plan from the begining for debugING and commissiong TO make this part fast, ..." Next sentence: "A key POINT is TO ALLOW the USE OF THE system in a ..." Next sentence: It is not clear what you want to say? Maybe replave by "We made it possible to inject/read data and in general operate the SVT in a standalone mode, however the data flow could not be related to the DAQ/trigger timing." Next sentence: Do not start a sentenbce with "Also .." instead "The data driven ..." 3) Page 7, 3rd paragraph 1st sentence " ... that WERE build into THE SVT ..." this sentence is 9 lines long, whole paragraph! Brake it into smaller sentences or itemize. 4) Page 7, 4th paragrapg 1st sentence: "In conclusion ... installed and operated IN CDF, IT performs as expected. Next sentence: "Tracks are ... and THE bewm position feedback to THE accelerator is real ..." Next sentence: "While THE trigger rates .... and THE device parameters ... that THE impact parameter resolution is SUFFICIENT for the successful ..." Next sentence: add THE in "Commissionig ... THE SVT ..." This sentence is strange. You want say that commissoning showed the need for commissoning planning. Just cut the last part of the sentence "Commissoning ... data integrity control and inregrated planing starting from the design stage.". General comments ================== Replace all "Figure n" and "figure n" with "Fig. n". Your are using a lot of footnotes. I think they should all start with a capital letter and and with a ".", like a normal sentence.